It is something you have to live with

Running in the background of your being.

There is no tool for you to erase it

Just steps to reach a point of shrinking. 

 

It all started in your mind

Corrupted by this plague

Broken beyond a point

Even you can understand. 

It spreaded through your thoughts

Altered your way of thinking,

And even sent your body

Signals that you are weaking. 

 

Then you started to believe

Every single unworthy thought.

Mind kept pouring like a river –

In its flow ended up caught. 

Soon you got too overwhelmed

As you couldn’t stop the rush

Heart decided to pound faster

Will and power turned to mush. 

 

Breathing faster as if the air

Is not enough in the room 

Trembling like a leaf blown by wind

As insecurities your mind groom. 

Focusing on non-essential

Sliding in a spiral of thoughts 

Not being able to sort them out –

All of this driving you nuts. 

 

Worrying about the future 

And all the things that could go wrong,

Trying to predict the disaster 

So you can prepare before. 

Thus you think you’ll manage better 

An ugly outcome to deflect, 

Avoid what happened in the past 

Or overcome the bad effect. 

 

You cannot live your life 

In anticipation 

Of the bad that might happen 

Also, worrying won’t help the situation. 

 

Moving forward will not happen 

By dwelling in the past 

Searching for a different path 

That would have produced 

A different result. 

 

Infuse yourself with patience, 

Dive in the unknown 

Drown the expectations 

Refuse any scenario. 

Choose only the thoughts that matter

Don’t develop stories from them

Leave the past where it belongs

But keep the lessons you obtained. 

 

It is always easier to say than do

But trust me, I’ve been through this, too.

I know that it won’t happen

As soon as you would like

But if you do nothing

The anxiety will spike. 

 

This is what it wants:

To keep you always stuck

Protected from any danger

– Oh! what a luck 

For such a protective state

To keep you in a coccoon

Warm and safe 

Like a fetus in a womb. 

Apart from any pain

Avoiding the distress, 

Not knowing you’re giving your life away 

Strandled into a mess. 

 

It may have served you, in appearance 

Trying to get back what you lost –

Control over things in your life 

But it did it with a cost. 

In the end it only loses more

Just like in a gamble 

In which you lost before.

The losses pile, the damage acumulates 

The more it tries to grasp control

The more it dissipates. 

 

Anyway, having control is an illusion 

Although it was the goal. 

This is the trap it’s got you into –

Not grasping anything at all. 

 

It robbed you of your dreams

Leaving a void inside 

That sucks anything that appears

To be keeping you away

From the maze that is your mind. 

It hypnothized you to believe

That everything will end badly

Why take any risks to live?

When you can sleep in its warmth, sadly. 

 

As much as it wants to protect you 

From any outside harm, 

It didn’t succeed but to hurt you

Becoming the enemy on the inside.